Friday, 24 December 2010

Is the tassle worth the hassle?

...and what you're getting wrong mesdames
Is we're an age when chasing you around a table
Or across a park after midnight
Doesn't pay off

And to be frank isn't worth
The stinging sweat on our ballsacks

We work punishing hours and don't get nearly enough rest
To be hassling you on lunch break
On the walk to tube stations
While you shop for negligee

You should try pressing those digits
Letting your name flash
So we can answer and say
"I'm too busy" "Call me later"
Or, a favourite
Let it ring off

It is not that you're not pretty or sexy
You are, in actual fact both mesdames
You're both and more - hence why we've made a move
Not too bold and asked you for drinks
Or invited you
To a house party

But what's it for if you're not to reply
Not to acknowledge
Leave us unanswerable

Put that shoe on the other foot
You'd be put off too
Like seeing how kebab's are made
Or catching a clip of birth

Two or three days after you'll waltz past
And forget to mention anything 'bout the call
And we ask, in formality, "How are you?"
You chirp but don't dare reverse the question
Maybe scared we'll answer in truth
But girls, ladies, women, mesdames
We're a gentle bunch and not hunting

This is not a safari
We want to know
How compatible we are
And get memorable moments

Before the bus takes you
Under the covers
In New Forest


  1. 'were a gentle bunch and not hunting' - beg to differ. not in my experience anyway!

  2. The collective 'we' this poem is based on are gentle. They may be men but they are tuned into feminine radiowaves.